


Drunken Nights and Unspoken Words

by ethanramsey



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: (Happy) Open Ending, F/M, Overall Angst, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanramsey/pseuds/ethanramsey
Summary: In which Dr. Estelle Valentine recalls a few memorable drunk conversations she had with the paramedic Rafael Aveiro. While there is one that made her smile again, the rest give more pain to her already broken heart. But what happens when unspoken words and feelings are finally spoken?
Relationships: Rafael Aveiro/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 5





	Drunken Nights and Unspoken Words

**Author's Note:**

> what is it with me and drunk, breakup prompts?? idk either please just bear with me. I have some ideas for a second part but not entirely sure about writing it, so let me know what you think or if you have suggestions

Rafael is a cute type of drunk.

Not the giggly one. Rather, he was the drunk whose musings are, as said, cute.

As Estelle drank her vodka cocktail alone in her apartment, she can’t help but to think about her ex-lover, and a few of his drunk ramblings.

_“You... do you know Estelle means star?” he asked her sleepily._

_As they laid together in her bed after a karaoke night with their friends, it was obvious he was already trying his best to stay awake._

_“Mm, I do,” She ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back and away from his face, while she had a small smile on her own._

_Technically, the Latin name Stella meant star, and Estelle is only the French version of it, but she did not need to get into that now. She was a little tipsy herself, but it was obvious the other was more drunk, and sleepier._

_“Good. And you know... Valentine’s Day is basically... uh... Heart’s day, right? So Valentine is heart?” Rafael continued, and Estelle let out a soft chuckle._

_“Basically, yes.” she agreed._

_“You always call me Superman, don’t you? And so I thought, I should also give you your own superhero name. It’s Star-Heart.”_

_Estelle smiled even more, and she realized she had been smiling for too long already when her cheeks started to hurt. “That’s adorable, Superman. That is officially my superhero name starting tonight. Star-Heart reporting for duty.”_

_Rafael couldn’t help his wide grin. “I’m glad you like it. It’s just so fitting, you know? Not just... not only with the- with...your names. Star because you’re so bright, Estelle. And you- you light up any room you walk into. And heart... you’re so, so kind. I love that you still have a kind heart no matter how brilliant you are. I...”_

_He was clearly about to say something more, and she could almost see the gears in his head turning as he frowned, debating in his head whether he should continue or not._

_Obviously deciding against it, Rafael gave her another sheepish grin. “Boa noite, meu amor.”_

_Estelle smiled at him, despite her heart going crazy. She wanted to finally hear the words he’s always hinted. Hell, she wanted to tell him that herself. But if even drunk him was still not ready, then she figured she should continue biting on her tongue._

_“It’s Star-Heart to you, senhor.” she just said, continuing to humor him._

That was a nickname that never really stuck between the two of them, but there were a few weeks that Rafael received texts from _Star-Heart_ instead of _favorite doctor_. Estelle remembered the first time she changed her contact name on his phone, teasing him about that night. Whenever she noticed he changed it back she’d change it again, and it went on for a few weeks.

It stopped after a particular Friday night and they went out for drinks again.

They sat together in a booth, their friends scattered around the bar doing their own thing, and as soon as Estelle got her hands on Rafael’s phone she decided to check her name yet again then change it. However, instead of seeing _favorite doctor_ , like always, the name read _meu amor_.

She recalls almost having the guts to actually say the three words.

_“My love?” She gave him a playful grin, this time more intoxicated than she usually lets herself be. “You always call me that.”_

_Estelle was somehow able to grin wider as she watched Rafael blush._

_“You don’t like it? I can–”_

_She was quick to interrupt him. “No! I like it,” she promised. “But do you mean it?” She set his phone back down on the table, resting her hand atop his, lightly squeezing._

_“Of course I do, Estelle._ You know _, I do.”_

_“Then say it,” she dared, heart hammering in her chest. Rafael smiled wide, just about to, but Estelle interrupted him again._

_“Actually, no, let me say it.” She almost giggled as they both blushed, staring at each other’s eyes, and she also took his other hand in hers. “Rafael Aveiro, my Superman–”_

_“GO! KARTS! GO! KARTS! GO! KARTS!” their friends started chanting back to their booth before she could continue._

_They were sober enough to agree to go racing but still with alcohol in their systems to drag the two of them with the rest of the gang._

_They slept in the same bed again that night, but her short moment of courage was over. And neither of the two had it in them to bring it up again._

Estelle takes three gulps of her drink. They were both really stupid. _She_ was stupid. 

How hard was it to tell the person you love that you love them? She screams in her mind that it literally only took three words, and once again she feels angry at herself for being a coward. If she had been brave, maybe she wouldn’t be drinking herself to sleep in her room right now. Or maybe she’d still be drunk, but so would Rafael be, and they’d cuddle up in her bed like they used to and sleep comfortably in each other’s arms.

The what ifs are quick to invade Estelle’s mind.

What if she said ‘I love you’ that night? What if he did? Would he still leave her for Sora, or those three unspoken words would have been enough to make him stay?

The last time she let herself think about him, she already promised she won’t blame herself anymore. It was important she knew that _it wasn’t her fault_ , and that Rafael left because he wanted to. He simply made a choice: his own.

But with the earlier events of tonight, she wasn’t sure about that anymore.

_Right after her shift and she got time to freshen up, she made her way to Donahue’s. She headed straight to the bar to get herself a drink, not even waiting for her friends anymore. She waited to get the attention of the bartender who was currently talking to a drunk customer, refusing them another drink._

_With a singular focus to get a shot, she realized about a minute too late who the said customer was, now broadcasting not only to the bartender but to the people around him that he probably needs someone to call him a car._

_“Rafael?” She walked towards him, simply giving the bartender an apologetic smile and they share a nod._

Before she can fully wrap her head around the situation, Estelle finds herself in a booth with Rafael. It is painfully familiar to how they used to spend the end of their work week. Although instead of having a few bottles and glasses and an assortment of finger foods in front of them, Rafael is drinking water and Estelle had yet to take the first swig of her beer.

They still hang out, sure. They never really stopped even after they ‘broke up’, but nowadays only with Bryce and her other roommates. Being in this scenario now, it feels like crossing a line.

“How’s your week?” Rafael asks, but quickly catches himself. “Or…uh, I’m– should I not ask?”

“It’s okay,” she gives him a small smile. “Work is…work. I guess just the usual.”

She takes a moment to take him in, staring up into his brown eyes and swallowing the lump in her throat. “Should I ask about how the suspension’s going?”

He grins, and she isn’t sure if it’s just the alcohol or the smile really doesn’t reach up his eyes. “It sure is going.”

“Somehow I just perfectly understand that,” she gives him another smile. Estelle thinks to herself that so far this was going well. What they had was pretty special: maybe they can truly get past the awkwardness and be normal friends.

But what he says next makes her forget that thought in less than a second. “We broke up.”

“You and…Sora?” she asks. She instantly realized it was a useless response, but she was too surprised. _Why?_ And is he telling this to her as his friend or his ex-lover?

Thankfully being a smartass isn’t really Rafael’s style. “Yeah, Sora and I.”

“What happened?” About a hundred emotions floods her chest, but she chooses to focus on genuine concern for her obviously upset friend. She realizes only now just how deep his frown was, and that there was hurt and longing behind his eyes.

“She said she was disappointed that it took me this long to open up about…us.”

She found it hard to find her next words, cheeks burning upon hearing his words. “And she broke up with you because of that?”

“No, not exactly. I…I told her I loved her.” At this point Rafael’s eyes can’t meet hers, his finger tracing circles on his glass.

“So she broke up with you because she doesn’t feel the same way? Oh, that sucks, Raf. I’m so sorry...” Estelle feels for him and wishes he didn’t have to go through this. Yes, she vividly felt the pain clenching her heart which extended all the way to her fingertips as her mind repeated that fact that the person she loves just told her he loved someone else. But Rafael is such a genuine, sweet person. No matter what happened between them he only deserves happiness.

He smiles, but she sees just how empty it was. “She said she does. She broke up with me because according to her _I_ don’t feel the same way.”

“That… doesn’t make sense. You just told her you loved her, didn’t you?”

“Sometimes we say things we don’t really mean,” he quotes Sora’s words. “It just… yeah, it sucks. You’d think at our age I’d be better at relationships already but here I am.”

Estelle responds with silence and looks down at his free hand resting on the table. She wants to take it, to let him know she’s right here with him despite not having the right words. But everything he’s said so far, she is yet to absorb. So she decides against it– biting onto her lip softly as she waited for him to continue.

“Do you think I shouldn’t have said it?” he asks after a long moment. “Not tell her I loved her?”

She fights back the tears that threatened to form in her eyes. “Raf, I’m sure–”

“It’s not like I don’t love her, you know? I guess maybe… maybe it’s too early to say it. And she’s right, I do have complicated feelings. But I know we can have something– special.” Rafael interrupts. “I just thought, with the two of us, I waited far too long to tell you how I really felt. And we… I mean I– I ruined it and I… we, didn’t work out. So I thought getting it out there early, telling her I love her, would… make it work.”

Estelle takes a moment to let that sink in, but ultimately fails. The only thing her brain processed was about him not telling her the truth. “You waited too long to tell me what?”

He sighs softly. “You know what I’m talking about, Estelle.”

“No, I actually don’t, Raf. And I think you should just be straight with me right now because _you_ broke up with me. And now it seems you’re implying that you didn’t get the chance, like _I_ didn’t give you a chance, to tell me that–” she stops herself, realizing her raising tone.

Her cheeks flushes in anger, fist clenching under the table. She’s thought about this happening countless of times, but not like _this_. Not only he was drunk, but he didn’t even plan the confession.

Rafael’s eyes widen as he slowly understood what she said, and he quickly looks at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, Estelle. I know that. But what I’m saying this time is true, I loved you. And fuck, it’s stupid and a complication, and might be the actual reason why Sora ended things with me last week, but I still do, Estelle. It’s...”

He swallows the lump in his throat, biting on his lip, his words and emotions currently all over the place and obviously so. He’s starting to realize that he’s being insensitive, that he shouldn’t be saying all these to her. He’s aware he might be hurting her right now, but God, he’s kept this for so long and he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he keeps it for one more night. He’d already wasted plenty of chances. Tonight’s stolen chance, this is finally going to be the one he takes.

“Before anything else, we’re friends, Estelle. So I owe it to you to be honest, and because I’ll go crazy if I don’t let you know. I’m still in love with you.”

_Not like this_. Tears pool in her eyes, making her vision blurry. She instinctively blinks, only making it stream through her cheeks. Rafael looks extremely guilty upon seeing her crying, but he’s unable to move nor speak again.

She knew he’s not doing this to be cruel. He’s probably barely registering his confessions in his mind, and only more oblivious to the fact that what he’s saying is not pleasant and is hurting her. She’s mad at the situation. She’s mad at what’s happening, very, but she blames the alcohol and not him. But even so, she just couldn’t take any more.

By the time a full minute passes, she is already out of the bar. She spends a few moments in the back alley crying as she spammed Bryce with texts, telling him to take care of their drunk friend. As soon as he assures her he will, she leaves and makes her way home, but only after buying drinks from the nearest convenience store.

And so now, she is laid on a blanket on her floor, finishing her third-or-maybe-fourth bottle, thinking about her ex-lover. Or is it just lover now, with his admission? God, tonight was messy.

Where was the drunk Rafael who gave her a superhero name? The one who goes on and on about how amazing she was. The one who argued to her unprovoked that homemade cooking is always better, and actually made some good points. What horrible thing did she do that she had to cross paths with Rafael tonight when he’s too honest and far from having cute ramblings?

_I love you_. Oh, this godawful phrase. When she’s kept up awake at night, it’s almost always because of these three words. The irony that she’s just as restless even after finally hearing it from him.

She loves him, that was still a fact, yes. Perhaps that’s what makes everything more complicated.

Does it mean they’ll get back together? Does he even want them to? Does _she?_

Fortunately, she didn’t have to come to a conclusion tonight. And soon enough she falls asleep with even more thoughts about Rafael.

The hangover next morning isn’t so bad. The universe is probably making it up to her after last night’s events. She starts to think that today would be good. It’s her day off, after all. But, soft knocks at her door already interrupts her.

She sits up, swallowing the lump in her throat. Somehow she already knows exactly who it is right outside her room.

“Estelle?” Rafael calls. “It’s me. I brought you coffee and pancakes.”

_I love you._ She immediately thinks as she starts to get up. She realizes just what she thought a few seconds later, and she stops for a moment, but goddammit, she _does_ love him, even without food involved. They’ll figure it out, like real adults this time. Hopefully.

Estelle opens the door and greets him with a smile. “Hey. You don’t look too bad for someone hungover.”

He smiles sheepishly, holding out his takeout. “How’s this for starting my apology?”

“Happy to let you know you’re off to a great start. Come on in, Superman.”


End file.
